I don't like the sound of fireworks. and Happy New Year, update your whatsapp gifs guys. its that time of the year okay way too big title anyways.
a very unrelated title to a heartfelt letter.
hi friend,
We have, finally, ended 2023. Its the first day of 2024, its my brothers birthday today as well as my grandpa’s who passed away last year on the 31st of July. Even the first day of a new year is overwhelming when you think about it, but anyways, we start new beginnings today and we take the same tone to change ourselves, work towards our goals and feel a little bit more energetic. All this energy evaporates the minute you start making lists of what you want to achieve in a year. I’ve made tons of lists, tons of resolutions but last year i experimented a bit and did not make lists or resolutions instead i wrote down some things that would be cool to do, some wishes that did not force me to leave everything and run after it. I thought if i wrote those wishes down like “Learn French”, “write a book”, “attend Oxford”, “destroy Israel” these are just some wishes which implies that even if it doesn’t happen i will not throw myself down a building because i couldn’t do it, no instead if an opportunity to tick off these wishes do come along, i am going to take it and make best with what i have and i can do. And, yes to prove that this “make a list of what your wishes” mindset actually works i shall now tell you that some opportunities did come along and i did try my best do with what i have. For starters i started learning French *drumrolls please* . One of my wishes came true and i was on top of the world.
It’s so nice and so warm to learn a new language to do something that’s fun, to enjoy the process of learning and not just memorize meaningless calculus formula. I have had the opportunity to make great acquaintances, learn more about people and how keeping an open mind and enjoying studying really puts you in situations you only dreamt of having. I love libraries and i love learning (only when i am not put in the spot), i love books and i love money to buy those books (my birthday is on June guys, feel free to send cash on birthday and on Eid, thank you XD), the last 6 months of 2023 really helped me be in my comfort place, among books and people who aren’t toxic. Then i realised that an entire year will never be good you’re gonna have so many ups and downs that it’s going to be suffocating. i have had my share of suffocation and i still do, in fact, right now i am battling with decisions i don’t know how to make.
I am 18 and i am near to finishing high school. I’ve met with many people in the last 18 years and i have failed to keep in touch with all those people that i have met in 18 years unless of course you count my family members and netflix characters. I even lost touch with my book bestfriends (which is if you know me, know that it’s harry potter and john green) i started rereading john green’s books, it’s nice to reconnect once in a while. we loose touch with people a lot faster than we try to connect, and i am over it, i am over loosing people again and again. so this year’s wish is to try to throw out the ones who don’t make you want to give them the world, and more space for the ones who do make you want to give them the world.
I can’t promise that i will be sending this newsletter on next monday, but i’ll try. Here’s to you and your “make a wish list”.
May you have a Happy New Year. <3
Love,
Subha.