I'm sorry, but I'm human.

imperfections and what not.

First, i wanna thank mahi for writing a piece on painting and then inspiring me to write this. Thank you♡ i love your writing, mahi.

I've been painting ever since I could learn to walk but I still haven't reached the 'pinterest-still-life-almost-as-real-as-the-actual-object' status. In fact, my paintings are worse than a beginners, it's messy, it's got unrelated patterns and weird specks of white and yellow at places it should not be. A few months ago, I was trying to paint a disco ball, the beautiful ones you see in pinterest, I was trying to copy it. Halfway through the painting I spilled coffee all over it. You'd think I was upset or demotivated, on the contrary, I was deeply relieved. Now, the painting will look real, it will look painted on and not just printed, not something out of an algorithm, it will look like something humane.

The supposed disco ball, it looks nothing like a disco ball but it’s something I enjoyed making, it doesnt have to be perfect.

I started painting at a very small age. I took myriads of lessons, most fridays were blocked with painting lessons. One of the most common things they asked us to paint was a vase. They taught us how to paint a vase millions of times, somehow I could never get both the curved arches the same, it was always curved at a different angle, they were just not the same. This phenomenon makes me realise that in everything that we do is a hint of human in it. It's real. The imperfections. It's human. No two things are the same, both our hands have very different patterns, have different finger lengths. One of my ear lobes has the ear lobe bone, my left ear doesn't have an ear lobe bone. I'm imperfect and I love it. It sets me apart, it makes me praise my God and how amazing and how beautifully He made us, making sure we all are different, even the slightest bit of differences makes us unique.

In the contemporary times, Aritifical Intelligence, or as you might like to call it AI, takes the humanness out of everything we do. You need help to brainstorm a party? Well you've got chatgpt for that, why have a conversation with your mother, grandmother, friend, sister for advice and ideas? A conversation that could lead to another interesting conversation, bonding you all for life.

Believe me, I am all for technology making our lives easier, just days ago I was think about CRISPR technology (if you don't know what CRISPR is, it Is a technology developed by biologists with expertise on DNA on how to edit only one part of the dna, isolating the target gene only, leaving the rest unfiltered) without technology, CRISPR wouldn't have been possible, the idea has been around for decades but nobody could act on it, because of this technology we can now hope to save people with dementia, cancer and even alzheimers (I'm a science geek bare with me)

Despite my technology admiration, I don't like it as much as the rest of the world does, I have misgivings about AI and what the world is turning into. AI is not only taking away the human benefactor, its making our mind idle, deluding and diminishing our cognitive strengths, making us, nothing less than puppets. We are humans, we've got a supercomputer for a brain, use it. If Albert Einstein used AI for coming up with E = mc2 and the relativity theory, would he be considered a global genius? Yes, ChatGPT makes our work easier but do we really need a computer software help us find the ‘best brush for my gums in 2024’ or write an essay on the history of Rome? Can't you just look it up for yourself? Gone are the days, where you'd visit Google links and watch them turn purple because now you've got this weird AI thingy make summary of your choice of search.

We are becoming less and less human, more and more lonely, away from ideas, emotions stimulating ideas and need to do something, making our brains dull and out of use.

I've seen little kids use AI to write essays, emails and I nag them to not use it continuously, but they don't listen, it makes me wonder what will happen when they grow up, when they need write an essay for their university, write an email to a CEO, is grammarly and chatgpt going to write an email for them? While their brains remain idle?

We all are imperfect whether you admit it or not, and that's the beauty of being human. Between you and I, you could be a better cook but I could add uniqueness to the dish, you can't work without me and I without you. We can't work without each other, we can't work without imperfections.

Being human is being imperfect.

Hello!

I haven't written anything for the past 2 weeks cuz I didn't feel like writing anything, I think it's important to let writing come to you rather than you going to it, it's a toxic egoistic relationship, writing & I. But I think we can make it work. Anyways, much love to you for reading something that I have been thinking about writing for a long time now, my views on AI is very controversial, but hey, I like it. And that's all that matters.

‘Nobody can decide your mattering for you’ - John Green.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy reading this, and I've missed writing here, if you have any ideas on what I could write, please let me know! Thank you. Love you. Hope you have a great day!

Love,

Subha.