What if it consumes you?
TW: GRAPHIC, EERIE
But..what if the monsters are real…just mere seconds away from you? What if they are right here living, rent-free in your head…
Dark eerie spaces and shadows. We think we are scared. Road full of people but then this one guy looks at you that sends goosebumps all over your body and you think you are scared. They are monsters, you say. But what happens when there’s dark energy around you, inside you? What happens when you turn into the monster?
Our minds are passages of history and information; lanes of memories and pictures imprinted. It’s a power, a mindful power of wisdom. We are so dependent on this specific organ, always using it, sharping it. Suppose your mind is your best friend, and you confide every detail and every prospect of your life. After you do that, you feel relaxed and relieved and you hug your best friend while she assures you that everything’s alright. But as days go by, your best friend gets annoyed and starts to come less to your home. You start calling her and asking her to meet but some way or the other she avoids the situation. You get the hint and you slowly start to not share anything with her anymore, you are hurt and you don’t want to be a burden to her anymore. You stop sharing everything, you stop saying what’s bothering you, you let it build up in your head, all the frustration, and the loneliness. You start getting worked up on silly things, start pushing people away, start overthinking at every situation and every aspect of life, and that slowly consumes you, diminishing your confidence and self-esteem, leaving you in a house full of dark energy and self-doubt. And that’s when everything topples over and your best friend, In this case, your mind, becomes your enemy, you start fighting it and it keeps pushing you back, making you feel like you are locked in a jail and the key is there, right there, but you just can’t reach it.
That’s when you turn over and fall into the pit. Your mind is your powerhouse, it controls every nerve impulse and every neurotransmitter transferring from receptor to relay and to intermediate neurons, but suddenly your mind starts to control in a way where you are struggling to gain control. It’s like you are two different people at two different times and situations. When you are alone you do not have control over it and when you are among people there ain’t anyone living better than you.
You know it’s dangerous to be alone but how can you fit more minds in your mind to keep your mind sane. It’s like your mind generates involuntary actions. It’s like it commands your hands to scratch you at every mistake you do, it’s like it commands your will to commit crime to yourself like it forces you to take the blade…and it prevents you to think of ways to escape it.
It’s like you are turning into completely two different persons. It’s like you are turning into the monster.
You are the monster.
I hope you like my new publish, “Monster Inhabitation” it was just a brief idea to introduce troubles people barely speak of. Don’t worry, there’s always a way around trouble, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to run lengths to see it.
There’s this quote I’ve always admired, it says “The problem isn’t the problem, the problem is your attitude towards the problem” and damn right it is.
I know it’s hard to think positive when the monstrosity is slowly consuming you, but you are powerful, and you can fight it. Don’t think that the problem is something vast, think it’s a silly thing to hand over your keys to your mind, but lock it or keep it away from things that trigger it. Keep the trigger button hidden the more it’s out of reach, the better you get. It may take days or most likely a few months but I think there is always a way, a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, the trigger can be anything, getting closure from someone or something that harms you, belittles you and question your existence. It can be memories filled with grief, that is a trigger point. Don’t let your mind wander off and sometimes when it does close the tabs with one click, don’t think twice, don’t ponder just close it and get out of it. Anyways, hope everything’s okay and don’t give up. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to run lengths to see it.